Losing You Twice
by Sparkle Chimera
Summary: "If.. under these circumstances.. if you had the chance to fall in love, would you take that chance? I certainly wouldn't let myself." CSP!AU OliverxLen. T for possible triggering themes and swearing.
1. Chapter 1: Recording

**A/N: I feel we needed a LenxOliver fanfiction where they don't screw in the end. Please don't be mad at me haha;;**

**By the way this is CSP!AU. You'll find out what that means as you read. But otherwise, this will have pretty triggering themes and a lot of feelings, as well as a lot of characterizations you won't see too many other places. That said, on with the fanfiction!**

**POV: Third Person Omniscient**

**-start fanfiction-**

_ "Tonight I will fly high_  
_ and illuminate the sky..~"_

Oliver gave a low breath of air outwards, having finished his quota of recording. A song he had written not too long ago resonated in his head, and all he wanted to do was belt it out and have the Producers deal with it later. He even had a track to roll behind it already composed! The microphone adorning his headset was clicked upwards in-line with the band, to get it out of his way. The recording room was dim, and the only light shining against a honey-golden iris was that of a computer. That thing was always on, it was a miracle it didn't melt down. Not meltdown, melt down. But either seemed an option at that point, it was a crappy computer anyway and Oliver despised using it with burning fury.

Mainly because it symbolized his enslavement and partial willingness to comply with everything the Producers told him to do, but that was rather beside the point, was it not? His quivering hand was rest on the mouse of the stupid box. Irises turned upwards to gaze at the glowing light, and his song was rearranged so that the lyrics matched up with the karaoke. And he played it back once, for but a few seconds. Everything had melded together perfectly, and that meant his song was successful. He'd be proud, if only he didn't despise the very idea of having the management above him listen to this. It made him feel weak. But he did quite like the song, written with an important person and their friendship in mind.

A few seconds of typing, and he saves the file as "Starlight Keeper". It was emailed to Suki-P with words attached that read, "Here. Oliver just recorded this. Do with it what you will." That was simply how Oliver emailed the Producers, pretending not to be himself. Of course Suki would always see right through that, it was almost ridiculous to think otherwise. But he did it anyway. He hoped he sounded bored in the email, like he didn't care about the song worth jack. That made them _infinitely_ more likely to publish it for everyone in the mansion to hear. Which was exactly what he had wanted.

Oliver rose slowly from the plushness of the REC room chair. As soft as it was, it was yet another thing he hated. The metal door of the room is pushed open. And, headset still donned, the bandaged boy steps out into the wide corridors of the mansion.

The main hallway. Wide, but not lengthy. Double doors signaled the main entrance, and stained glass windows lined the walls. A chandelier just above him hanging from a church-steeple style ceiling cast a warm yellow glow on everything in the hallway, just dim enough to be beautiful no matter the time of the day. And he hated _that_ too.

On the other hand, a delightful contrast to Oliver's sour mood was Len, wandering ever so cheerfully through the hallway. This was the only life Len had ever known, wandering, singing, making friends, and trying not to obsess over Oliver because no, no, he didn't love him. Not at all. That was stupid, and besides, the _adorable_ guy didn't have the best personality to fall in love with. However energetic Len was though, around him, it took all he could to not scoop him up and kiss the hell out of him. But the blue-eyed blonde knew that he would freak the hell out, screech mercilessly and never talk to him again. Or so he assumed.

Lo and behold, does he bump into Oliver, who had just finished recording! Wonderful, Oliver was always in the worst of his moods after a recording session. Or was he? Len wasn't sure, Oliver had a ton of moods and "being an ass" was just one of them.

With a curious expression does the amber-eyed boy look up. Ah, he knew he heard footsteps! He just.. didn't expect Len. Of all people to appear after he had just finished a song he had written with the guy in mind, and such a coincidence made him feel the Producers had sent Len this way on purpose. What wonderful people, those buttheads were.

In the middle of his words does Len finally notice. "Hahah, nice day! Definitely feels like something good is going to happen-" He paused, upon locking eyes with the other across the hallway. He almost didn't notice, after all, Oliver wasn't wearing his hat! "Oh, uh, hey there Oliver! How are you doing?"

He let the door shut behind him, clicking with a metal sound. Everything vibrated, that door was never to be slammed. But that wasn't what surprised him most, it was that Len had spoken first, really. "Oh- um! Pretty well- just finished a recording... took me a long time to get it right though.."

Len rubbed absentmindedly at the back of his head, meeting the shorter boy at the other end of the hallway. This conversation... Didn't seem like it would drop in mood soon, but you never really knew. Poor Oliver. His mood was always some form of 'I hate everything'. "Oh, okay! I'm glad it paid off in the end for you, if it took so many tries! What exactly were you recording anyways?"

A noise caught in Oliver's throat. No, no way he was explaining that to Len. "Oh just- something I came up with myself. It's been in the making for a while now." With this does he turn just so, slipping the white headset off his head and into the large coat pocket. "..Now where did I put my hat..."

"Really?! Something you made yourself..?" Len didn't know you were able to do stuff like that. It seemed to be a foreign concept to him, and it may as well have been. Especially since Oliver hadn't been scheduled to sing that day. Hmm.. "That's..great actually! Didn't know we could do something like that.. Uh, and you might've left it back in the REC room.."

"You should try it, it's kind of fun- and you're probably right, let me check-" With this does Oliver shrug loosely and turn back into the room, Len following out of assumed obligation. And both of them looked around for a few minutes, checking under the desk and chairs and everything else in the room. Nothing turned up, and both of them got kind of frustrated. It was just a hat.. "I- I'll find it, trust me, this room isn't that big..." The younger boy was intent on finding the danged thing, if only because he despised the idea of having lost it. His dad _had_ given it to him, after all. ..Just a few days before that stupid kidnapping..

While searching does Len happen upon a messily scribbled on piece of paper. "Hm..? What's this?" ..And lifting it up, he discovered that those were words to a song written messily upon it. Cool, was this Oliver's song? "Oh.. a lyric sheet, cool!"

...And man, did that slip right by Oliver. Too busy searching. "..Ugh..did I even bring it down here..."

**-end chapter-**

**A/N: Hahah~ i'm glad i got through this, and you know, partial cliffhanger. I hope you guys enjoy this failure thing i'm writing or whatever!**


	2. Chapter 2: Oliver's Crush

**A/N: haha okay this is very anti-climatic oops but i hope you enjoy chapter 2~ i love you my viewers uvu**

Len blinked slowly, eyes flickering across the damaged paper. It had been creased in the oddest of places, with scratches in pen to contrast the pencil. He must have worked ridiculously hard on this song.. So why was he so reluctant to share? Not a single vocal noise was emitted as at first he scanned the page for the general idea of the song, then read it through in the dim light. It wasn't too hard to understand, thankfully. _Starlight Keeper_? Hmmm...

Oliver didn't seem like the type to write such a thing, it had oddly deep lyrics as opposed to a lot of the stuff Len was used to hearing him sing. Then again, he never really wrote songs before, has he? Maybe this _was_ the kind of thing he wrote. Good job, Len. You've known him for a year and managed to fall in love with him and still don't know what kind of goddamned person he is. Well, he'd find out. Soon, if he'd have any part in it. Maybe. Was telling Oliver he had an incessant crush on him part of today's to-do list? Ehh..

"Woah uh...I..didn't know this was the kinda thing you'd uh..write Oliver."

Instantly the color drained from Oliver's face. He whipped up from his current position on the other side of the room, turning towards Len. And he realized. "W-wha- Hey! Give me that!" He was gaining color in his cheeks again, entire body growing warm as he yanked the paper away, stuffing it haphazardly in his pocket. Stupid Len! His agitation grew with everything ever further, and his hat could be damned now for all he cared. But not wearing one felt weird. Very weird. Like an exposed kind of weird.

Len's face colored in return, drawing his hands back and upwards to block himself. Oops, he wasn't supposed to do that?! Welp. His mistake, but Oliver didn't exactly have a right to get mad at him. He didn't know! Besides, the song would be published anyway... Then they'd all know what it said. Then again.. Wasn't it better to know the little side comments written on the lyric sheets, beside the words? Ugh. Len felt really weird about that now. "Ah! I uh..I'm sorry.. It's, heh, well..I think it's a really good song though!" His words blurred out choppy, trying to recover the situation. "I like it, never really expected you to write something like well..that though."

And he shoots..!

And then misses horribly.

"I can be deep when I want to be. And thanks. But you don't know what it sounds like to music yet." Oliver's annoyance with the situation was palpable, and Len winced. He had to save this conversation, though!

"Ahh...that's true. But..just from reading the song itself..I think it was written really well! But from what I've heard of the songs you did before..I bet it sounds even better to music and singing anyways!" Yes, shower him in compliments! Maybe that would make him stop being so annoyed..

Little did he know, he really did not know what to expect from Oliver. Haha... oops...

The younger boy doubled back just slightly, eyebrow quirking upwards. Len was getting oddly... what was the word? He was being quite the kissass. Did he really think he messed up that badly? "...A-Am I hearing that right? Was _that_ a _compliment_? About my singing?" Nothing worked better to deflect someone like that than to deflect all of their compliments, right?

And the other's face was akin to that of a deer in headlights. Ah, damnit! Oliver really did not take to compliments well, did he? It was really hard to please him.. "Well uh...yeah! Again I think your singing's well..really good! Why, is there...something wrong with me complimenting it?" The coloring dusting his cheeks didn't let up any, and Len thanked the dim lighting for its job well done at obscuring Oliver's view of that.

"Well duh! It's just- really odd, that's all. Plus y'know compared to you-" Oliver gave a loose shrug. "Never mind. I don't want to sound like a constant downer." Certainly did a _shit_ job of that, Mister Grumpypants. All you ever did was sound like a constant downer.

"Aw hehe...I'm not all that great."

An amber eye rolled in its socket. _Yes you are_. That's the problem here. Reason the song's there in the first place. But he didn't know that...

Oliver's change in expression went thankfully unnoticed by Len. "Hm...anyways, sorry about that.. But uh, if can't find your hat do you want to go check your room or something? I'd be willing to come with." The thing about the captain's room, however, was that it always had an odd air to it. Smelled.. metallic, but also like a hospital. Very unpleasant.

"..Maybe I didn't bring it down here- though I'd rather not have you in my room."

"Ah, I understand! Hm... maybe you could just wear your headset? That'd be pretty neat since you don't wear it often!"

Oliver's hands flew up and he waved them around in displeasure. "No- no! I- I hate my headset!" _Like a lot of things._

"But...why? We all wear our headsets...and they're useful!"

"I- I don't like it, okay?!"

"Hm...well, okay! My headset is pretty useful for uh..different reasons!"

"Whatever, Len. I'm gonna go check my room." The comment was pointedly ignored, Oliver eager to end that conversation there. The white device was evil, and Len should know that already. He wished it would just break, never to be used again. That would solve so, so many of his problems... until they made him a new one, that was. The metal door is propped open once more, and like that, Oliver was gone.

"Oh uh..Okay! I'll just uh..wait here I suppose, heh..."

Len filed out of the dark room, letting the door shut quietly. Much better than Oliver's brutish method of letting it slam on its own, right? He took to one of the leather ottomans lining the hallway, smoothing it out first and then sitting on it.

"Still..what could've inspired him to write a song like that..?"

The trek to Oliver's room was a long one, and Len was well into thought by the time he had crossed the threshold into the navy-blue room. "Hmmn~" He was used to the scent of it, the hospital-like odor that only bothered newcomers into it. Gave them headaches pretty often. Kept them out of it, and it worked.

"Could it have been that he..?" _Liked someone_? No, Oliver didn't seem like the type to like someone.. But if he had to guess.. Who would Oliver even like? He seemed like a bit of a masochist... Piko? Possibly Rin? _SeeU_? There weren't too many people that came to mind..

He hated to admit it, but he kind of hoped that wasn't the case.

**A/N: who wants to guess why his room smells like that**


End file.
